The Miracle of long Marriages
She stood there in her yellow dress, a wild flower growing astonishingly in a field of cacti, bramble bush and wilted shrubs. Or so it seemed to me, that unforgettable evening, more than 50 years ago.
I had been invited to the Annual Saligao social by a woman whom I had met at a party, and the lovely girl in the yellow dress was her youngest sister.
I was an Officer in the Indian Air Force at that time. I had played a cricket match during the day and was dog tired when I got back to the Air Force Base. I was reluctant to go but a brother officer, who had just been posted to Bombay and had not yet met any young women, coaxed me to take him along.
We had a few drinks at the bar, got on to my motorbike and zoomed off to the venue of the social well past the appointed time.
We were not only late but we were sozzled and talking very loudly. I later learnt that the girl in the yellow dress was quite annoyed with the kind of guys her sister had invited.
After exchanging the usual pleasantries I realized that I could not take my eyes off this lovely woman in a yellow dress.
I asked her for a dance. She looked at me as if I was something the cat had just brought in, and was about to refuse my invitation, when her sister admonished her, and before I knew what was happening, she was in my arms
waltzing away to the unforgettable music of Mickey Correia and his dance band.
I learnt that she was doing a Secretarial course at the YWCA in Colaba and that she lived in Mahim.
Even today she has not forgiven me for asking her whether she knew how to cook. At that time she found it strange and amusing and maybe a little quaint. Later she realized it was down right rude!
The next day I put on my blue uniform, got on to my motorbike and arrived at the YWCA at a time when she was just coming out of the building after her Secretarial lessons.
I offered her a ride on the motorbike and a cup of tea at
Leopold café. A place that had little cubicles with swinging half doors specially designed for romantic couples.
I never forget that day. We had some samosas and watermelon juice and when the bill arrived I discovered that I did not have enough money to pay it. Without any fuss she took care of the bill, a habit that she has carried with her during most part of her life.
On the way back home I proposed to her. She laughed so hysterically that she almost fell off the pillion and caused a minor traffic jam. But she gave me no answer.
I was madly in love with her then and I realize, as I write this, that I am still madly in love with her 50 years after we got married.
Ours has been a most difficult marriage. Thrice during the period of our engagement we almost called it off.
As all the daughters-in-law in our family will vouch, it is not easy to be married to a Menezes. Ask anyone of them if they ever considered divorce and the answer would be, “Never. But we often considered murder”
The girl in the yellow dress discovered this slowly but surely.
For example, she found out that by the time she had slowly, and in a dignified manner, finished her soup, I had gobbled up my dinner and was ready to leave the table.
It is impossible to be married to a man so immersed in his writing and poetry that he can hardly hear what his wife is saying.
It is impossible to be married to a man who cries easily, laughs without any reason, has a roving eye for beautiful women, has no idea about the worth of money and walks around in a restaurant checking what other people are eating before he sits down to place an order.
It is impossible to be married to a man who hugs people he hardly knows and opens his heart out to strangers telling them not only about himself but also about his entire family.
But we managed it all these years mostly because the girl in the yellow dress had a great deal of patience, a great deal of tolerance, a good sense of humour and an unwavering faith in the sanctity of marriage, bonded together by mutual trust and mutual respect.
June 3rd, 2008 at 3:25 am
i am sure the girl in yellow will tolerate you for te next fifty years with the sameease
god bless you both, george and thecla
john dayal
June 13th, 2008 at 12:34 am
Thanks John
When people ask me if I have ever all these years contemplated divorce, I always say “never, but I have contemplated murder !”
June 15th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
What a beautiful love story George. I wish everyone at 75 could tell a similar tale. May you spend the rest of your years in love.
Bernice Pereira
June 16th, 2008 at 1:11 am
Thank you Bernice. God gifted Thecla and me four additional years after I wrote this piece.
He also gave me the ability to love intensely, sometimes foolishly.
Love is not a loaf of bread that if you offer a slice to someone there is less left over. We can love our spouses and have enough to love others intensely.
I cant place you (getting old and feeble minded) but I love you for your generosity in responding to me.
I am posting one of the many romantic poems I have written over the years
God bless you
George
June 19th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
O, what a world it would be if couples could experience such love. In all it’s unboundedness, it surely would only go on to ‘infect’ the people around – much like your writing has.
I’ve heard of divorces, arguments and fights, but murder never. However, when true love exists, murder may be possible too!
June 19th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Hi u.George
Enjoyed reading the love-story – I had the privilege of knowing/working with the “love of your life” for many many years. Un grand Bonjour a ma chere amie/tante Thecla – j’ai de beaux souvenirs de notre amitie.
Good luck, love to both of you
Lucia/Basil
June 20th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Dear Lucia
Comme la monde a devenu si petite !
Thecla est toujours belle
George
June 20th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Dear Raj
Don’t believe everything I write
Thanks for responding. It is encouraagng
George
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:40 am
Dear George,
Ienjoyed reading your story,and it reminds me of my own marriage of 25 years. My wife was from a very very orthodox family,from perry cross road, and her father was a labour commissioner, who was like a royal bengal tiger,absolutely unapproachable when it came to his precious daughter, but some how we got married because of my tenacity, and percivierance, which negated all the stories about the Dutt brothers from Chimbai Rd. We had 2 good looking sons who cud have been bollywood actors but opted to be Professional Engineers instead. I have trully been blessed to have had the love and dedication of a very REMARKABLE LADY.
Keep on writing, Love to both of you and along life.
Best Regards
Abani Dutt
June 23rd, 2008 at 5:04 am
Everyone loves a story…especially when shared so honorably…Congratulations on de Golden 50…May both Thecla and you be Blessed with Platinum and more milestones…of Marital Bliss
June 24th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Dear Sq. Ldr.
The quintessence of your 50 + years of marriage I’d want to address
Enjoying all this wedded bliss with the enchanting girl in a yellow dress
As a paragon of an alliance it’s highly laudable and makes good press
You must have seduced her with your inveigling charm and warm caress
Or did you marry this lovely Mahim damsel with subtle manly duress
But when choosing your lifetime’s sweetheart, you were not reckless
What your Destiny without your peach would be is anyone’s wild guess
Without her strong spousal support you could have been a bloody mess
She’s been nobly by your side through dark adversity and tough stress
Gamely sharing your great triumphs and disappointments nonetheless
Her virtue, patience and fidelity has brought you success and happiness
You’ve made her proud of you, but for faux pas she never sought redress
So with your darling Thecla as your mate forever your union is matchless
Congratulations and may you have many more years together, God Bless!!!
Sincerely
Arnold
June 25th, 2008 at 12:51 am
Dear George,
“CONGRATULATIONS” I am delighted that I can now access all your witty and inspiring articles which make such good reading material.
Your romantic story will definitely, encourage all of us to sit back and cherish our own memories and thus strengthen the bond of marriage.
I wish You & Thecla many more wonderful years of love & togetherness.
CHEERS!
Fernando Costa Martins
June 25th, 2008 at 1:32 am
Thanks
Fernando
Keep in touch
George
June 25th, 2008 at 2:27 am
Hi George,
What a beautiful, wonderful tribute to Techla – she is indeed one lucky lady!!! … but she is as lucky to have you for a caring wonderful – and humourous husband!!! It has indeed been my proud privilege to know and love both of you over the years – and may God grant both of you, good health and showers of HIS abundant blessings!!
Kathleen
June 27th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Dear Stephen and Abani Dutt
I wrote this piece in the interval between throwing pots and pans at each other.
It was also at a time when everyone I knew except myself felt we had an ideal marriage
Could it be a marriage between a deaf husband and a dumb wife ? I asked myself ?
Much of the credit goes to the girl in the “yellow dress” and to the Lord
who wants us to re-learn that miracles happen slowly…..they take 50 years !
Thank you both for caring to respond
George