George Menezes

If there was a fear that tourism was going to take a beating in Goa, think again.

There is too much happening in “amchem” Goa. And the happenings are of such exciting proportions that it will attract thousands of Indians and foreigners whose boredom levels have touched bottom, pun intended, like the Dow Jones and the Sensex.

Courts and Police stations have specially cleared enormous spaces for tourist attendance.

One such court is hearing a case against a well built, good looking guy
who has been found wandering in the city and Goa’s northern beaches with out wearing his trousers. Not even a “khashti”, mind you, said the prosecuting officer.

“Are you married?” the judge asks the accused

“Yes your honour” says the accused. “Five times. One recently”

“And do you have any children?”

“Yes your honour” says the accused “Fifteen of them. Some black, some white and two khaki. And one is on the way”

The Honorable Judge thinks for a minute, scratches his moth eaten wig, bangs his gavel on the table and says quietly “Case dismissed. The accused obviously has no time to put on his pants”

From what we read in the newspapers and watch on television there appear to be a whole lot of men who have no time to put on their pants in Goa.

Hence the fear of a dip in tourism is unfounded. If fact after the high attendance at the Police Stations and courts, where touts are charging entrance fees, tourists mix with locals at “tavernas” and bars to get the real story.

Says the father of one such pant-less progeny. “It is all a political conspiracy. My enemies have formed small political parties and are using all the pants they can get as the Party flags. Our sons have no pants to wear. One Party has even made a pact with the BSP and adopted a slogan that says “Caste-less and khashti-less Party”

Tourists are also flocking to the Tourism Department’s “All Goa Treasure Hunt” to find a very precious and precocious Goan youngster who has disappeared when he was badly wanted. “Baba come home, no?”

This is bigger than the “Bigg Boss” or even “Big Brother” and the prize for finding the missing gem is any one’s guess. Millions, I am told, considering that the lolly is coming from the tax payer’s pockets.

Switch to the village of Moira. Tourist buses packed to capacity are wending their way to the colorful and once quiet village of Moira, famous for its special bananas, now a show case for a Banana Republic.

The hand out says that Goa’s famous “cock fight” or less vulgarly “rooster fight” is being staged at the Gram Sabha (Village Council) office of Moira.

The place is crowded with goons preventing genuine members of the Sabha from entering the meeting place. Venita Coelho who calls herself an accidental activist and who wrote a moving and scathing article in the local newspaper is not allowed to speak. She is threatened and intimidated.

I quote her own words.

“I was threatened with ‘We’ll see how you step out of your house. We’ll see how you live in this village.’ I was surrounded by a ring of
shouting gesticulating men threatening me with the worst.

And what did the police do? They swung resplendently into action — by grabbing me, pulling me forcibly out of my chair and dragging
me to the police jeep. I was driven straight to the police station and held for three hours. The police repeatedly assured me I am not arrested — but I cannot leave till the PI (police inspector) comes”.

As you can imagine the tourists are asking for more. The famous bull fights called “dhirio”, for example.

Goa obliges. They are taken on a journey to every Gram Sabha where there is a total suspension of the rule of law. Blood flows like feni. The tourists are lapping it all up. The blood more than the feni.

Obviously it is better to run a Moira Banana Republic that attracts tourists than a constitutionally functioning democracy committed to the rule of law that attracts no one.

The next attraction is a re-hash of our famous Carnival with floats moving down the Mandovi River.

One float is made up to look like a Court room or may be like a hospital Ward. From a distance the tourists can’t tell the difference. Standing defiant, you see the courageous advocate Aires Rodrigues whose fingers have been chopped by hired assassins. Next to him is Prajal who was in the wrong place at the wrong time on the wrong day.

Serve the advocate right say the Middle Eastern tourists. How dare he represent a foreign mother whose daughter was allegedly sex-abused by Goan sons of the soil? Back home his whole hand would have been officially cut off in public.

Other floats are made to look like garbage dumps disguised as Gram Sabha offices. You see a montage of the faces of a generation of Goan born-again angry citizen activists bruised, battered, neglected, humiliated and betrayed by their own people. Betrayed by friends, neighbours, relatives, people who baptized them and who will one day bury them.

There is Senior Citizen Sebastian Rodrigues who was beaten up several times for opposing the Mining lobby. Not to mention Cheryl, her 84 year old mother and her 9 year old daughter who spent a night in jail for the same reason

The float they are sitting on is colourful and majestic. A background of sayings from various scriptures blended into each other.

One of them says “If Mohamed does not come to the mountain the mountain will come to down to Mohamed” Another jokingly from the Bible reads “ And the mountains will be laid low and the valleys will be filled with buildings made of iron ore, to line the pockets of the “chor”

The tourists are enjoying every minute of this show. But they will soon be gone and Goa will be left to us Goans.

Venita Coelho asks a frightening question. “Are you responsible for what happened to me?” And the frightening answer can only be “Yes we are”