Our incredible “adivassi” domestic help
At a recent paper-leaked-out SSC examination, the Geography section had an interesting question. “Where is Bandra located?”
All those who answered Chhatisgarh or Jharkhand were given full marks.
Now there is no need to get agitated because your child got it wrong. Obviously he doesn’t live in Bandra and hasn’t seen millions of adivasis from the above two States crawling all over Bandra in locust like formation.
It appears that over the years some dear and Rev. Sisters have found them jobs in hundreds of households as domestic help. They come in various shapes sizes and colors. But they are mostly young women and their mostly Catholic.
Opinions differ about them. They’re called rogues, scoundrels, immoral, thieves, lazy bums and dimwits. A few of them may fit these labels. After all they are uneducated village girls. Gold and cash lying around are a temptation. Holes in your expensive dress may be discovered after ironing. The dirty dog may land up in your washing machine and your wet slippers in your microwave oven.
But most of them do not deserve the labels I mentioned. They learn fast, are basically honest, extremely clean and very soon are able to produce a good masala “armlet” for breakfast” and some decent “cutlasses” for lunch
Statistics also reveal that liars, thieves, lazy and drunken bums, scoundrels and immoral characters among the sahibs and memsahibs out number the adivasi girls by 100 to 1.
Today I am writing about the time when the old girl had her kidney transplant. Her immunity was low and she was so fragile that we had to be very careful about infections and prevention of rejection of the transplanted kidney.
She was isolated in one bedroom and we had access to her with a masks on our faces and gloves on our hands.
Tina, our adivassi maid, was heaven sent. Heaven being the house of a friend of ours from where she came.
Thin, dark, strong, as clean as a pin, she worked hard, was thoroughly reliable and a splendidly quick learner. And when she laughed she tilted her head to one side as if the head was fixed on hinges
In the year of her retirement from the French Trade Commissioners Office the old girl couldn’t have asked for more.
So why does Tina want to go on a morcha? Well, that’s what she came to tell us one rainy Sunday morning.
She doesn’t know. She only knows that the Rev. Sisters have asked 1000 of them to assemble at the Azad maidan. Buses will be provided for the return journey.
Tina is scared. Will there be violence, she asks. I assure her that all will be well. I also tell her that I had once been a speaker at one such Morcha years ago. That brings a smile to her innocent face. I then explain to her all about the rights of domestic workers and the Industrial Disputes Act 1947. Her attitude to the ID act is the same as that of my German boss when I had explained it to him on his first arrival in India in 1970. Total dismay and disbelief !
But Tina doesn’t like any of the laws. The minimum wage figure would mean that her salary would be reduced. Did the phrase “job security” mean that she was not free to seek new employment at the drop of a hat or the drop a precious imported serving dish? What about tooth paste and soap, gold bangles for Christmas and sarees for New Year.?
I give her the bus fare, money for snacks and ask her to get answers to questions at the Morcha.
The old girl is angry, always a gentle anger, that I’ve shifted my Personnel Manager’s role from my office to the house. “You should not encourage the empowerment of domestic help. You never know what demands they will make” she says.
I know she’s not serious about what she’s saying. Nobody I know is more sympathetic to those who work for us as she is. Her nature is not to be demonstrative. I am over demonstrative and one such person is enough in a household of two.
Hours later Tina returns with none of her questions answered,
And regrettably, much more downtrodden than when she had left for Azad Maidan.
It seems it rained heavily and she was drenched to the skin looking as sad as a wet hen. The speeches were in Marathi. And to crown everything, a corrupt and nasty policemen had stopped the bus at Mahim Causeway and collected Rs 10 from each of the passengers before allowing them to proceed.
When they arrived in Bandra and got off the bus Tina had made a little speech as a result of which she was elected as the leader of the girls that had got off the bus,
She’s fascinated with Morchas. In fact she is planning a Morcha. Maybe more than a Morcha. One against The Rev. Sisters who wasted their holiday, and one against The Police Traffic Department
The old girl was all smiles. That’s the way to go she said.
July 29th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
Dear George,
You are one of the few and lucky ones, to have a honest and faithful domestic help. In the good old days, the domestic help were like a part of the family members and were inducted with all kindness are care to them, maybe with more than they gave.
Today, the scene has changed. The domestic help is the boss and the boss is the domestic’s help. The boss of the house whoever it may be, no longer can ditctate orders or instructions. If you are a tough management guy or gal, then may be you can give some, but ristricted to certain degree of orders. The domestic demands are now days more than the Union Leaders deamand of a Multi organisation.
No doubth, the luxury of having a domestic help these days, are only for the bosses of the house who are strong in negotations at their factory or work place, but are poor in negotationns with the domestic help of the house, except for a few.
That’s why we don’t have domestic help in US, we are the boss as well as the domestic help of our house.
Take care, let the articles keep coming and God Bless
Dominic D’Souza
Aurora, CO, US
August 7th, 2010 at 11:15 pm
Delightful!
August 15th, 2010 at 2:44 am
Dear Celine
so nice to get a comment from you. Thank you for taking the trouble to visit my website. Just returned from Cambridge after visiting daughter who got married in February.
How are George and his family doing do keep me posted and drop them when you have the time
August 15th, 2010 at 2:56 am
Dear Domnic
thank you for regularly visiting my website and for your useful comments
families with lots of children were being used to having domestic help for a long time somehow treat their domestic help by family members and are able to retain them.
I share your apprehensions. It is not that I’m lucky. I invest a lot in my relationships
with the domestic help. Respect, constant two-way communication, fairness and justice and about all the belief they are being created in the image and likeness of God that we have been. Also the ability to accept that no two people are alike and that you have to adapt sometimes ask for forgiveness and experience humiliation.
Did not Jesus do that in his relationships, including ingratitude and rejection?
I shared my experience but I know I cannot transfer it to other people.
Just returned after visiting my daughter and son-in-law in Cambridge, UK
each one of them is both boss and domestic help. Latest technology in the kitchen is of course a big help.
September 13th, 2010 at 11:45 am
sir
real thought provoking.
how are you, we fine , had real good heritage walk of Indian Hextonians, we all remembered you. regards …………milan
September 27th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Hello George,
Good to be in touch again.
I always enjoy your writings.
I still remember, (in fact I kept a print copy) of your sad farewell to the ‘old girl’ Thecla.
Yes George, our late wives, who have left us many lifetime of memories, will always be in the forefront of our thoughts & writings.
More power to your pen George,
Till next time,
Con
January 18th, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Dear Mr. Menezes:
I agree and disagree with your article as also with some of your readers’ views.
Well, first of all let me inform you that from the time I was born till I got married, we always had domestic help for every little thing in the house, the reason being that my mother absolutely abhorred anything labeled ‘housework’ and my father was a henpecked little man who doted on his wife. Growing up I don’t think I even washed a spoon in my life, and naturally with my mother’s wonderful example had no interest whatever in any type of housework till I got married and realized I will be going to live in a place where we could not afford maids even if my husband were henpecked which he most certainly is not. So in the 7 months it took for me to acquire my US visa, I resigned my job and went for cooking classes, learnt to cook & do other things around the house, which was of course very difficult in the beginning considering I had trouble turning the gas stove on as I didn’t even know how to light a match.
Now on account of the above we have been exposed to different types of maids from different parts of the country including from Bihar. There are both good and bad eggs among them as it is in all other fields including the sacrosanct medical field. So while a few of them or maybe more than a few can be called rogues, scoundrels, immoral, thieves, lazy bums and dimwits as you say, there are more than a few of them who are good, honest, hardworking etc. The problem is like with most humans, you cannot usually tell by looking at their faces. You have to experience them to really know which category they belong to, which could prove expensive both economically & emotionally.
However the problem that is prevalent in most Indian houses is the exploitation of these poor, helpless, illiterates who for the most part don’t know anything better and the sanctuary of living in a home however much they may be harassed and scolded is better than living on the streets. I wish the sahibs and memsahibs in Bombay could be educated on proper treatment of their maids and I wish they are made to realize that these maids however poor, illiterate & dumb they may be should at least be able to expect a somewhat decent life which they are denied.
A few months ago, even before I read your article, I realized this when I heard the story of ‘Annie George’ an Indian orphan girl who works as a maid in an American household. I met her at an Indian Association social gathering and the person who had brought her along (who was a friend of mine) asked me if I could give Annie a ride home as it was on the way home for me to which I agreed. I admit I was curious as to how from an orphanage in Bombay, she had ended up here in the US. On the way back I asked her and she told me her story in her own words. I can’t be sure she has the dates & a few other details correct especially her age, as she looks older than she says she is. Anyway, she was living in a Bombay orphanage in Byculla when at the age of 4 she was presumably adopted and taken to live in a big house in Marine drive. Annie vividly recalls walking along the sea face promenade, the Queen’s necklace, Crawford Market etc. In the house she was taught to cook, clean, etc. They spoke English to her, but did not teach her to read or write. When she reached around 20 years, she was handed over to the American family she now lives with, who brought her back to the US with them. She works as a live in maid, doing all the cooking, cleaning, gardening etc for them which would normally have been prohibitively expensive to the American family. When I asked Annie, how much she was paid, she had absolutely no idea, as she does not understand any commercial transactions.
However she is treated very well, given enough to eat, has a self contained room to herself which opens out into the garden which she is also responsible for tending and which she enjoys.
So even if she is underpaid or not paid at all, don’t you think she is better off than most of the poor, illiterate maids in Bombay?
Sheila Titus
January 23rd, 2011 at 10:46 am
Dear Sheila
thank you for your regular visits to my website and for your intelligent, informative comments. You say that you disagree with me but on reading your entire post I would say we are on the same wavelength I Mumbai
maids working in families with the right values are fairly well paid and very treated. Of course they will earn much less than a maid in the USA
Have a great New Year.